Finding Peace in Single Life

I thought I couldn’t find peace until I found “the one.” Then a whirlwind romance ended by mutual agreement, and I felt peace alongside my sadness. It had taken me a few years to build the confidence to recognize that feeling and let it stay.

Taking a break from the apps

Before that romance, I’d stepped away from online dating. I thought the apps gave me control, yet I kept swiping until I felt more dissatisfied than when I started. Taking a break gave me room to ask what I wanted.

In my 20s, I spent so much time wondering whether my dates liked me that I rarely stopped to ask whether I liked them. I tiptoed through conversations and rehearsed everything that could go wrong. When I took a break, I had more time to notice that pattern.

Letting go of my timeline

By 30, I was more confident about dating. I was still exhausted by the feeling that single life was something I had to get through. I let go of the timeline and checklist I’d set for myself. I’d earned a college degree and built a career I loved through determination. Finding a partner involved someone else’s choices too.

Saying yes to a fuller life

When I stopped using the apps, I realized how much of my social life had come to depend on them. Around that time, a man I met asked me to call him. Before, his number probably would have disappeared into my purse. This time I said yes. We had a wonderful adventure, and I valued the relationship while we were in it and after we agreed to end it.

I’ve since said yes to more dates and to volunteering. I’ve also given online dating another try. It’s one way I meet people now, alongside the rest of my life. I’m open to romance and have room to enjoy being single while I’m here.