We have all been in relationships with someone that we had to learn to forgive. When we forgive someone from our past, we can learn to move on to our future without being angry and without being hurt.
If someone has hurt you and you forgive them, it is the only way that you can free your mind and get rid of bitterness. The bitterness that happens with unforgiveness is something that can slowly kill you and hurt you. This can even cause you to have mental and physical problems.
If you have ever felt that your emotions would take over your life, it can be hard and overwhelming to go through it. Maybe it took years for you to forgive someone and to change your relationship with that person.
Chances are that you have went through times where you have had memories come back to you that have been painful and other times you can look at your past and have a hard time having boundaries because of what had happened.
Sometimes you have to walk away from a relationship, even if it is with someone in your family. If you choose not to and you feel like you should fight to keep your relationship with this person open, you need to understand some things.
Changing Others
One thing that you cannot do is to expect other people to change. The only thing that you can do is change the way that you respond to them.
You might realize you want to keep a relationship with someone, but you have to know that they are not going to change and to ask yourself if it is healthy for you to stay in the relationship.
Make sure you allow yourself to heal and that you have other relationships that are healthy.
Your Needs
You might want to forgive this person in your life that has hurt you, but you need to be responsible for your forgiveness. You might need to talk to a counselor or spend time talking one on one with the person that hurt you.
You have to pay attention to the actions they took against you and learn to release your feelings on these things.
This is a situation everyone should get to and if you are able to look at your needs and identify them, you will know if you are able to accept an apology from them and move on or if this will never fix things.
Forgive
Once you realize what your needs are, you have to work towards forgiveness. Forgiveness will help you have a better life. When you really accept what happened and choose to forgive, you will see that you are able to have your own best interest at heart.
Emotions are strong and forgiving is something that you will have to do over and over again. Even if you make the decision, you will find yourself having to forgive more than once. If you are compassionate and willing to do this, you will see that the area around you will align and that you will be able to connect with people that you have forgiven on a different level and you will no longer feel hate towards them.
Make Boundaries
Even if you forgive someone you have to have boundaries. You need to see what you need in the relationship as it goes forward.
Ask yourself what you need to change to have a good relationship with this person. Do you want to spend less time with them, or do you only want to talk about certain things? Make sure you set these boundaries right away.
If someone might actually hurt you physically, you need to have someone with you when you talk to that person.
Be Mindful
Pay attention to how you are reacting and responding to people. Once you forgive, it doesn’t mean you will forget. When memories come back, you need to take a chance to look at them and then move on.
The bad memories will become less and less, and you will no longer be angry every time you think about something from the past.
Do not be upset or angry if this takes time because emotions are strong, and you have to face the challenge with them.
Go through things you wish didn’t happen and forgive as you think about them.
Have Joy
If you have decided that you want to fight for this relationship, then you have to think something is there that will benefit your life. Embrace this forgiveness with this person and then have joy. Let go of the pain of the past.
Relationships are never easy, and people mess up. The wounds that they have made for you can be healed and when you recognize them, you can work towards letting them go.
You know when this will happen for you and only you can know the right moment to forgive someone and let things go.