The Difference Between Neediness and Love

The Difference Between Neediness and Love

Understanding when a person is needy and when they are madly in love with you can be difficult to ascertain.  You have to trust your gut and read the unspoken clues.  These signs will never fail you.  The biggest tell is that this person enjoys spending as much time with you as possible, but they don’t need it to feel whole.

People in love know what it means to be realistic.  They are able to balance the both of you having individual and shared friends.  You both are able to enjoy days alone and movie nights together.  Feelings only get hurt when it seems like time is not divided equally or fairly.  So, it’s ok to enjoy a Girls’ Night Out, as long as it doesn’t happen every weekend.

A lover expects to be shown that you sincerely care about them, or they will be willing to leave.  Needy people will cling onto even the unhealthiest relationship with every fiber of their being.

People madly in love with you can make the best of difficult situations if they are spending the time with you.  They only require kind words, feeling listened to, and occasional moments of physical affection.  If you see your partner feeling down, honor their hardship and hold their hand or give them a kiss.  These simple acts will instant raise their spirits.  They don’t need grand gestures, just the feeling of being safe and secure.

One of their biggest fears is potentially losing you.  This is not something to penalize.  Life made have been hard to them and they could be scared of having this love leave them.  Discuss why they might be having this fear at this moment and reassure them of your commitment.  It will help the situation, trust me!

Desire between lovers will go far outside the bedroom.  Sure, you guys have wonderful physical chemistry, but you both bond over the quiet moments of life.  Cuddling for the sake of cuddling can be just as gratifying for you both as sex.  During the moments before falling asleep, talk about your day or your dreams.  Prioritize each other’s minds the way you do your naked bodies.

Lovers get vulnerable.  Needy people try to avoid showing their true self!  If your partner is focus on exploring your past, it’s because they want to know you on a deeper level.  They want to know your fears, dreams, achievements and missed opportunities.  As you show your scars, they will show you theirs as well.  This is important to your bonding process.  As they hear about your missed opportunities, they will begin to work double time to help you shape the future you crave.  This is in part because there is no future that can envision that doesn’t include you.  People madly in love with you aren’t needy they just want to show you, every day, how much you matter to them.

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