You have probably seen two individuals fall in love, from the romantic movies, despite all the hindrances in their way. However, forget about what happens on the screen, love isn’t the only ingredient to a lasting relationship
Love can be so confusing and persuasive; people find themselves in bad, unhealthy and sad relationships, with or without their knowledge. For instance, when you view images of your loved partners, a chemical that makes people feel good, known as dopamine is usually released into their brains, according to a 2015 study in the Frontiers in Human Neuroscience
The effect of these chemicals can make people ignore simple decisions like getting out of unhealthy relationships, according to one Julie Wadley, CEO of matchmaking and coaching services Eli Simone.
It does feel great to be in love. It’s healthy as well. But these emotions don’t lead to lasting relationships.
See below for some signs that show that should probably let go:
You’re not getting your requirements satisfied.
In a relationship, everyone has needs that differ from person to person. They could be psychological like wanting to spend some time with your loved one or functional, requiring them to help with the finances.
Whenever one feels that their needs aren’t being achieved, its good to let the other partner know. If they are not making an extra effort to help you satisfy your requirements, it’s time to let go, says Wadley.
The way the society looks at single people sometimes pushes individuals to stay in toxic relationships. It creates the sense that they may never meet a much better person if they move on. This mentality, according to Wadley, wastes one’s time and creates a lot of sadness. Instead, the time could be utilized to meet a partner who satisfies your requirements.
You looking up to other alternatives for the needs
Your partner should be the first person you inform of any good tidings like a promotion or a family emergency, that is if your relationship is doing great, says Wadle.
Having colleagues you can trust at work isn’t bad, but if you always turn to them for almost everything, it’s a bit worrying and it indicates that your partner isn’t giving you the support you require.
If it reaches a stage where you or your partner constantly seek emotional support from other people, Wadley states that its time to bring the relationship to an end.
You fear to ask your partner for more.
Discussing needs with a partner isn’t an easy task, but again, according to Wadley, communication is key to a healthy relationship.
People hide behind their feelings since they think to talk about their requirements might portray them as needy. They, therefore, pretend to be happy, but deep inside it’s a huge burden.
Then something occurs that triggers these feelings, and a long dangerous exchange occurs that might have a really damaging effect on the relationship. If you can’t discuss your issues with your partner without fear, please part ways.
No support from loved one and relatives;
According to a New York-based dating and relationships coach Lindsay Chrisler, always keep track of your relatives and friends feelings towards your relationship. It’s definitely not a good sign if not relatives or friends support you. Be ready to listen to their opinions as well if you are in an unhappy relationship.
If you chose to ignore advice from relatives and friends, consider letting go as well. When you deceit your friends, you lie to yourself as well, says Chrisler. Same too when you start staying away from your partner in order not to face their issues, the relationship should have ended already.
You feel like you don’t have any other choice but to stick to your partner
A 2016 study in Current Psychology states that people won’t easily let go of a relationship where they have put all their time and energy. Same as the “Sunk coast effect” theory in money investment.
“Time is never equal to success when talking about humans and relationships”, says Wadley, adding that most of her clients are unwilling to get out of toxic relationships due to investments they have done.
However, spending more time and energy on someone you love won’t take away your problems. The relationship isn’t worth it if nobody in the relationship is willing to fulfill the other person’s needs.
It’s over a year, and still no improvement in your relationship
If partners have spent quite some time together, there is always a stronger urge to try and sort out the problems, says Chrisler. She further advises on couple counseling if they want a relationship to carry on. However, set a time restriction of just one year.
“Don’t spend too much time deciding whether to let go or not, you might reach a point of no return,” she says.
If after a year and still no signs of improvement, the most viable decision is to end the relationship, according to Chrisler.
You don’t cherish your partner
Chrysler states that it’s possible to be fall in love with a person you don’t cherish. In this scenario, you will get along on a daily basis but will never make it past hard times.
Almost all partners experience hard times, but those in a good healthy relationship usually know that they will make it through together. “I have no idea how you will do so with someone you don’t like” Chrysler adds.
It’s very hard to walk away from your loved one, despite the fact that the relationship might be facing challenges. My advice is, pay attention to your brain, instead of the chemical reactions love is causing to occur in your body.
Experience domestic abuse from your partner.
Interestingly enough, one might find themselves loving abusive partners. A 2015 research by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention indicates one in four females and one in 10 males have been affected by violence involving a partner. Another 2015 study by the National Institute of Mental Health indicated that more than 50% of the women who were interviewed agreed to find their abusive partners very reliable. One in five of every woman surveyed focused on the more positive characteristics of their partners like being loving.
Researchers realized that these opinions made people stay in toxic relationships. Other reasons were extortion and physical harm by partners.
Whenever any kind of abuse is involved, try very hard and find a way out. It’s not easy, you have to love yourself very much, she adds.